I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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