their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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