the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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