dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
