i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
