I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
