she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize