Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
