Taylor Swift is so right about you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
