Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize