you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
