Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize