He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
