if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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