I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
