Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
