It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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