This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
