matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
