Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
