You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
