found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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