Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
