When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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