UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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