We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
