I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
