Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
