You work out of a Hotel?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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