But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
