And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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