you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
