Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
