if you like me you must not know who I am
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
