He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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