my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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