See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
