I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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