I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
