well I can't set my house on fire every night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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