Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
