it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
