The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
