we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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