Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
