We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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