I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
