Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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