Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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