piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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