this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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