Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
