Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
