i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
