I want to make a zoo with you.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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