we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
