K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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