Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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