He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
