Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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